One of my favorite things to do is be in a room of Black female entrepreneurs.  Whew chile! The style, self-confidence, and undeniable #blackgirlmagic that radiates off their melanin fills me with so much pride and a sense of belonging.  To be transparent though, I didn’t always feel like this.  When I first became a business owner, entering these spaces used to terrify me.  I felt self-conscious, uncertain, anxious and alone.  

 

Little did I know, I wasn’t.

According to Entrepreneur, one of the fears all entrepreneurs experience is the fear of “not being good enough”.  This fear can translate into imposter syndrome, procrastination and at worst, self-sabotage.  So what’s an entrepreneur to do to build self confidence?  

 

Here are my 3 tips on building self confidence.

 

Stop comparing yourself to others

 

Listen, we’ve all done it. You start scrolling on social media to have a few giggles or look for some inspiration for your next post. Then you see someone post their win and next thing you know here comes the comparison. You attempt to measure your real experience with a snapshot of someone else’s highlight-that never ends well, trust me.  The old adage, comparison is the thief of joy, rings loud and true in the world of entrepreneurship.  With everyone promoting themselves, their business and brand, we are constantly exposed to visuals of success.  If you aren’t careful the collective successes of social media will drown out your personal successes.   One way to minimize this is to be intentional about social media exposure.  This can include muting profiles which are creating the most distress or using third-party apps to still engage with your followers without having to see your feed or timeline.   Another way to minimize this behavior is by using positive affirmations.  Hype yourself up with affirmations that contradict your specific fear.   I created this one ‘I drip magic in every room I enter’ and use it whenever I’m second-guessing my place in the room.  You can check out my Affirmations Guidebook for step-by-step instructions on how to create personalized affirmations.  

 

Surround yourself with confident women entrepreneurs. 

 

 

Throughout my career, I have often been the only Black woman in the room. Mix that with experiences in which my ‘shine’ has been minimized or manipulated to enhance others, then add in the expectations of martyrdom of a helping profession and the act of self-confidence feels icky.  Entrepreneurship is the exact opposite of this world! Marketing is expected and people want to do business with someone who is confident in their abilities.  Relearning that ‘talking my shit’ is accepted rather than judged is a liberating experience. Joining an organization such as Women on the Rise, international has normalized being an ambitious, self-assured woman.  Through those interactions I have learned people who are confident with their light aren’t intimidated by yours.  On the contrary, they expect other people to shine around them. Building relationships within these spaces can also provide a sense of belonging and connection, which can improve self-confidence and build resilience in difficult times. Besides, having people to relate, talk to and confide in can be a great way to process emotions, gain perspective, and gain valuable advice and insight. You can learn more about Women on the Rise, International here.  

 

Speak up

 

Getting comfortable voicing your thoughts, feedback and ideas is a great way to build self confidence. You can start off with speaking up in meetings, sharing your points of views through blogs, newsletters or social media, creating videos, speaking at conferences, or volunteering for different roles within the community.  These activities reinforce your brand and business, so you become associated with this specific need or topic.  Over time, it can lead to new opportunities and connections which build visibility, authority and expertise.  All of those experiences are what I call ‘behavioral experiments’. They allow you to expose yourself to new experiences and when the outcome is either neutral or positive, you become more likely to repeat the behavior. You get the positive reinforcement of the outcome and build self-confidence through repetition of having these experiences. 

 

Walk it Like You Talk It

Building self-confidence doesn’t happen overnight but with small steps consistently you will feel like a rock star.  Here’s the disclaimer though, you will still get nervous and have self-doubt sometimes. And that’s normal, especially when it comes to new experiences.  Having self-confidence isn’t about NEVER  having fear or doubt.  The goal is to not get stuck there and remember how much of a badass you are really.